on moving on

Tears were shed today as I realized how close I am to leaving this place. Tomorrow is my last full day here. Today was quiet yet emotional. Hide and Izaki were out of the shop today, so the general volume was pretty low. Around 3 or so we received a call to let us know that the results for the JBC Finalists were in. This would tell who made the top 10th tier of the 160 candidates of the JBC. As we read down the list, we saw Manu Coffee (one of Honey's customer shops), and as we read her name (Yasukawa) and cheered her name outloud (Yasukawa-san), she walked into the shop. It was surreal, and we all cried. And then I cried harder because I remember how special this moment will be for years to come, and how I didn't want to let it go. Later in the evening, Yoshi-san would ask me if I was crying because Yuko and Yasukawa were crying, or if it was because I was sad of my upcoming departure. It was mixed, but mostly the later. Unfortunately, the remainder of the list did not include Hide's name. We did not talk about this, nor has anyone mentioned it since.

This evening we had a sayonara party at another izakaya. This one is famous for its cuisine and ability to attract foodies and rockstars from around the world. It was spectacular. Pictures from around the world lined the wall, and it felt authentic. As if theyd been there. And Im sure they had. An Izaki family friend, Tod, had recommended the place and even joined us for dinner. I loved the way he makes the Izaki family laugh. Its effortless. We were all in tears from laughing so hard, and I felt at home. This feels like home.

Before coming to Japan, it seemed like I wasnt really coming here. That maybe Id been lying to myself or that I was just going to California to see my family. But the flight was almost 3 times as long as the flight to san fran, and this time the people I was staying with were not familiar. Now the tables have turned, and returning to Octane seems unreal. Lying in my bed with Bruce at 2080 seems like a dream from long ago, even though its only been a month since Dave and I were lounging around with the cat, playing Wii until the hours became too small, or watching Tokyo-ga until the menu screen woke us up in the middle of the night.

Thankfully I feel like my time is done here. I feel accomplished, as if my time was properly spent, and that I have nourished whatever it was that sprang up two years ago when I was here last.

on moving on, I'm looking forword to visiting Momoko in Tokyo along with the rest of the Zoka cats. I want to see Ozu's grave in a snow-filled cemetery. I want to eat ramen with dave on a cold winter evening on the brim of the sumida river. This iwll come next week. And we will move on after that with only memories to bring back.

Have I mentioned that the Izaki family just falls asleep wherever they happen to be?