With that, allow me to forward a telephone call I received at Octane this week.
Caller: Hi, um, could you tell me about the caffeine differences between green tea and coffee?
Danielle: Well, it would really depend on what type of coffee and teas you're looking at. A cup of our french press coffee, though, would have a little more caffeine than a cup of the Hojicha green we serve...
C: Ok so you're saying coffee has more caffeine than green tea?
D: Well, not really. It's situational. But if you were to come here right now, a cup of coffee would have more caffeine than the green tea.
C: Alright, 'cus like I'm totally addicted to caffeine, man. I've got, like, this caffeine addiction. You know, man? I totally need to slow this train down.
[At this point I am desperately looking around the shop for Jason or Aly (the two that were working with me that day) in an effort to make eye contact and signal a mouthed "HELP ME" in hopes that they could at least pick up the other phone and listen to this conversation. But to no avail, I was left alone.]
D: Ok.... you have other choices than caffeinated drinks... We do have decaf coffee here...
C: Right but what about the Jasmine tea? Does that have any caffeine?
D: Yes, some, but not as much as green tea.
C: So my best choice would be the Jasmine tea?
D: Sure, if you're trying to lower your caffeine intake.
C: So it has no caffeine?
D: Just trace amounts.
C: Oh, so now it's justTRACE amounts?!
D: Sir, that's just my wording.
C: YOUR wording?!?! Alright fine. [Hangs up phone]
For the next few hours of my shift, I had shifty eyes for every dude that came in and ordered tea. None of them fit the agitated profile in my mind. I feel like he may have been the one to create this:
I feel like he may have called me either just prior or after the God-sighting.
I once worked for someone that popped No-Doz pills throughout the day. He liked coffee, but like the idea of popping pills better.
1 comment:
That was hilarious.
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